Food. What else?

I haven't posted in forever. I think it's partially because I don't believe anyone actually reads this thing. Sigh.

Moving on.

I've been doing a lot of cooking lately. A lot. I've had some really horrendous flops and some very triumphant successes. Flops include Naan and Whole Wheat Sourdough breads. Not good. Not good at all. Of course, it's highly probable that they were flops due to my own usual inadequacy when it comes to baking. They are both from cookingbread.com, the same website that I've gotten really great recipes from. Case in point: a success, French bread. FABULOUS. I used it to make Pioneer Woman's Olive Cheese bread. Oh. My. Gosh.

Olive Cheese Bread

adapted from The Pioneer Woman Cooks

1 loaf French bread, sliced in half horizontally

1 14 oz can black olives, drained and coarsely chopped

1/2 green bell pepper

1/2 red bell pepper

1/2 cup mayonnaise

approx 1 cup shredded monterey jack cheese

Mix the olives, peppers, mayo, and cheese together in a bowl. Spread the mix onto the French bread and bake on 350 for 20-30 minutes. Slice and devour.

My mother-in-law gave me The Pioneer Woman Cooks for Christmas, and I've already read it cover to cover. I know, I'm a nerd. The pictures in it are amazing! My maternal grandmother gave me the family cookbook for Christmas, for which I was ecstatic. It has so many of her fantastic recipes in it, I couldn't wait to get started.

This next recipe is a fusion between the Pioneer Woman and my MawMaw.

Meatballs

(meatballs from MawMaw, sauce from Pioneer Woman, adaptations made)

1 lb ground beef

1/2 yellow onion, diced fine

1/2 cup saltine crackers, crushed

1/3-1/2 cup milk

1 egg

seasoned salt

black pepper

1 cup ketchup

1tbsp sugar

3 tbsp white vinegar

3 tbsp worcestershire sauce

several dashes of hot sauce

dash of garlic powder

Preheat oven to 350. Combine the first 7 ingredients in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Shape into balls and put into a 9x13 baking dish. Mix the last 6 ingredients together and drizzle evenly over the meatballs. Place in oven and bake for 45-50 minutes.

The Olive Bread and the Meatballs and salads were our dinner tonight. Delish! as Rachael Ray would say :)

Many more cooking adventures are going to occur this week. I'll try to be better about keeping my imaginary audience posted.

Chicken Parmigiana

Do you know who the Pioneer Woman is? Oh, if you don't, stop reading right now and go to her website, www.thepioneerwoman.com. Seriously. You'll be glad you did. I love her. My favorite discovery on there was "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels." If you have several hours (ha!), read the whole saga in one go. If not, it will no doubt keep you coming back for more.

Anyway, PW has some great recipes on her site. One of those is Chicken Parmigiana. Now, I personally like Eggplant Parmigiana better than Chicken, but my hubby is kind of anti-eggplant. Anything that resembles squash makes him shudder a little. So I found PW's recipe and it looks great, it just wasn't quite what I was in the mood for. Sounded a little plain for me. Plus it called for red wine, and we're LDS, so no alcohol lying around over here. So I embellished. I just used what I had in the kitchen at the time, so really feel free to omit things or change things around. That's what recipes are for, right? But do check out her recipe; I'm going to try it one of these days for sure.

Chicken Parmigiana
Serves 2

2 medium to large chicken breasts, pounded flat
1/2 cup flour
2/3 cup butter and garlic flavored croutons (wait for it...)
1/4 cup whole wheat bread crumbs
1 egg
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
8 oz (ish? Hubby cooked the pasta when I wasn't looking) whole wheat angel hair pasta
1 jar Paul Newman brand marina sauce (seriously. try it.)
1/2 cup canned or fresh diced tomatoes
1/2 tbsp dried basil
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
Parmesan cheese
Mozzarella cheese

*Tip: To avoid splashing salmonella germs all over your kitchen while pounding the chicken (gross!), put the chicken breasts either in a gallon ziploc bag or between a few sheets of plastic wrap. I prefer the bag. Then pound away and revel in the fact that you will NOT have to bleach everything in your kitchen. Hallelujah.

Pound the chicken flat. Place the croutons in a small ziploc bag and crush. On a plate, combine flour, crouton crumbs, and bread crumbs. Whisk egg in a shallow bowl.

Meanwhile, heat butter and olive oil in a large nonstick skillet. Dip chicken in flour mixture, then egg mixture, then back in the flour mixture. Place in skillet and let it turn nice and brown on each side. If your chicken isn't cooked through all the way in the pan once both sides are browned (It depends on the thickness of the breast. Use a meat thermometer. Since we're avoiding salmonella today, your chicken needs to reach 165 degrees to be considered safe), put it on a cookie sheet, cover it in Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese and stick it in a 350 degree oven until done. If it does get done in the skillet, add some cheese on it and put it in the oven for just a couple minutes anyway, just to melt the cheese.

While your chicken is finishing in the oven, cook your pasta to al dente. Using that same buttery nonstick skillet, add that jar of marina sauce, the tomatoes, basil, garlic, and chili powder. Let cook on medium low heat for about 5 minutes to allow the flavors to marry. Go ahead and dump some Parmesan cheese in there, too.

Once the pasta is done, here's how plating goes: pasta, sprinkle some Parmesan, spoon some sauce (about 1/2 cup), place chicken breast on top, and drizzle about 1/4 cup more sauce on top. Dig in.

FROSTING!

Ok, so you know how that little "About Me" section to the right over there says that I like to cook healthy food for my family?

I lied.

I love to cook. Really I do. But healthy food all the time? How boring! I know, I know, if you use fresh and organic ingredients, healty food is just as delicious as its more deadly counterparts, but come on! Sometimes, you have to splurge.

Seriously, let's just say that the food you eat did not influence your health in any way. No heart problems, no high cholesterol, no diabetes, no drooping energy levels, no obesity, nothing. Let's just say that you can eat what you want without it hurting you. At all.

Now that we've established that glorious phenomenon, if you were given a choice between two plates of food - one piled high with french fries and a double cheeseburger (the kind with BBQ sauce and onion rings on it, praise heaven), the other consisting of celery, carrot sticks, hummus, a salad with no dressing, and maybe an apple - which would you choose?

DUH! Bring on the greasy cheeseburger and don't skimp on those onion rings under the bun! I like hummus as well as the next girl, but come on! There's a reason Americans are the most obese people in the world. We invented the cheeseburger! Heaven on a plate! Seriously.

Sadly, we must be cautious of the foods we consume. I think the epitome of the obesity epidemic in America can be summed up by changes on Sesame Street. Remember Cookie Monster? His favorite food - and all we viewers ever saw him consume - was, obviously, cookies. Now what does he say about his former obsession? "Cookies are a sometimes food."

Makes me want to cry.

Now, since you're not here for my food rantings, but for actual recipes, here is a recipe for a *sniff* "sometimes" food: Buttercream Frosting. Yum.

I got this recipe from http://www.bakerella.com/ - a fabulous site with some really cute baking ideas and recipes. I am, by no means, a baker at all, so the cake that I put under this delicious frosting was a box cake. Heinous, I know. Who has time for homemade cake AND frosting? On just a normal day? Not me.

Buttercream Frosting

1 cup (2 sticks) butter at room temperature

1 tsp vanilla

1 lb 10x powdered sugar

1-3 tsp milk, half and half, or cream

Using a mixer, cream butter and vanilla until smooth. Add sugar gradually, making sure that sugar and butter cream together before you add more. Add milk one teaspoon at a time until you get the right texture (I only used about 1 1/2 tsp). Add food coloring for desired color.

*WARNING!* For real, this frosting just about killed me. I have hypoglycemia, and eating this cake with this amazing frosting put me over the edge to not okay-ness. Really. So proceed with caution. Extreme yumminess awaits.

Corn Chowder

I'm feeling a little under the weather today, and whenever you feel like you have a cold, what's the ultimate comfort food? Soup. Any kind will do for me. I'm a little over the whole chicken noodle soup deal for colds, so I like alternatives. Tonight, I decided to try my hand at a recipe for Corn Chowder in my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. I had tried this chowder at a church function and loved it. Of course, I had to try it my way.

*Spicy* Corn Chowder
adapted from BHG

3 cups frozen whole kernel corn
1 small yellow onion, chopped fine
1/2 small green pepper, chopped
1 large banana pepper, chopped
1/2 jalapeno, seeded and chopped (I used a whole jalapeno and loved it, but it was hot! you choose)
1 tbsp canola oil
2 cups water + 2 low sodium chicken bouillon cubes
1 cup frozen southern style hash brown potatoes
1 rounded tbsp cornstarch
dash of seasoned salt (I like Lawry's)
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 cups cold milk
approx 3 slices bacon, cooked until crunchy, crumbled, drippings reserved
shredded cheddar cheese


In a large saucepan, heat bacon drippings and canola oil. Add onion and peppers and cook until tender. Add corn, potatoes, water + bouillon cubes, seasoned salt, pepper, and garlic. Bring to boiling; reduce heat and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally, about 10 to 15 minutes, or until everything is tender.

Scoop the cornstarch into a small bowl. Slowly whisk in the milk until the cornstarch is mostly dissolved. Stir into the saucepan; cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Add the bacon crumbles and cook for about another minute. To serve, garnish with shredded cheese. Enjoy!